“Lewis was an experiment.” These words, spoken (or perhaps whispered in a dimly-lit corner of McLaren’s HQ) by team principal Martin Whitmarsh and printed in The Telegraph last week, would have been enough to give every Hollywood filmmaker with a penchant for motor racing visions of the first sci-fi/F1 blockbuster.
It was what only the most delusional, conspiracy-driven F1 devotee dared imagine; that McLaren, the team described by Murray Walker in his autobiography as having “an undeserved image of grim and soulless efficiency”, had been developing genetically enhanced humanoids all along.
Hilariously, the mechanical McLaren stereotype came to the fore on Sunday in the BBC’s build-up to the Malaysian grand prix when Eddie Jordan quizzed Whitmarsh on why his team failed to put in enough ‘banker’ laps in qualifying before the rain showers turned into a deluge.

Whitmarsh: “We were relying on technology…”

Jordan: “Martin, there has to be a strong human element in this, you can’t rely on robots or computers to tell you what’s happening on this pitlane.”

Jake Humphrey: “Do you have people?”

Whitmarsh: (laughs) “We have people…”

Hmm, that’s reassuring, if a little disappointing; the idea of a McLaren team run entirely by robots is more fun. Hollywood, make that movie.
Such a film would probably start thus: bold letters moving across the screen with the abyss of space as the backdrop:

NOT CONTENT WITH F1 PODIUMS, WINS, WORLD TITLES AND THE LAUNCHING OF ROAD-GOING ROCKETS, THE TEAM WITH THE ‘MISSION CONTROL’ ROOM (NO, REALLY) AT THEIR SPACE-AGE WOKING HQ BEGAN TO DEVELOP GENETICALLY-ENHANCED HUMANOIDS. 14 YEARS LATER, A STAR WAS BORN… LEWIS HAMILTON.

Perhaps the director of the 1980s sci-fi movie D.A.R.Y.L – Data-Analysing Robot Youth Lifeform – could do the honours and bring this fiction to the silver screen.
It could work. After all, there’s a delightful scene in that film where the main character, a youngster named Daryl, flies a US Airforce Blackbird plane at supersonic speeds – not unlike Hamilton’s prodigious skills piloting his McLaren F1 car.

A motion picture like this would need an arch villain. Look no further than Fernando Alonso, Hamilton’s nemesis when the Spaniard was also at McLaren. Importantly, Alonso’s facial features are reminiscent of a young Al Pacino – who’s played lots of baddies.
The filmmakers would also do well to utilize the talents of former McLaren ace Kimi Raikkonen, aka the monosyllabic maverick, owing to his delightfully robotic credentials. The only sticking point might be the Flying Finn’s fee.

Considering that Ferrari are effectively paying Kimi approximately £18 million not to drive for them this year, the 2007 World Champion would probably be looking for a one-off sum equal to a ‘googolplex’ to appear in said film.
Such a salary would be in keeping with the sci-fi theme of this movie, as a googolplex is a number so vast it requires more space than the known universe to write out all the noughts.

Fortunately Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel has erased the nought next to his name. Until Malaysia the unlucky Vettel had to put up with a ‘0’ in the column entitled 2010 races won, but after his success at Sepang he can embrace the number 1.
Ferrari’s Felipe Massa may be leading the driver’s championship, but considering that Vettel was only denied victory in the opening two races by car faults, the German really is the No1 driver.

David Edbrooke - The Telegraph